The Gospel According to Newett
The heavily abridged version
The story of The Son of God is a tight and precise story. He's born in a barn, and grows up swinging a hammer. He's baptized, and then punk slaps the devil, after not having any chow for a month and a half. Starts healing sick people left and right while hand picking a group of 12 fishy smelling drinking buddies to carry on the family business once He's gone. Then in three years time, He enables countless crippled dudes to play sports, and also heals a plethora of blind dudes so they can watch the games. Wait it gets better, He made dead people come back to life again. Yeah....more than once pal! Tell me you wouldn't want to hang out with this dude if you were around then. Please! He was. And IS, and will always be the coolest dude in the history of ever. And in those three years he would periodically inform the religious leaders of the day that they were a bunch of jack wagons. Then at the end of the three years, on the 10th day of the first month, He rides into town on the back of a donkey to a cheering crowd of fans. Most were caught up in the hoopla though, because a few days later he was betrayed by that same crowd who praised Him, (Kinda like Philadelphia sports fans) and they screamed bloody murder. For there had long been a plot for His death. And then opportunity struck. He was ratted out by one of His pals, arrested at night, and sent to kangaroo court where they decided this dude's gotta go. So they politically pressured The Procurator Fiscal to have Him executed before the sun even came up. Man of sorrows. Acquainted with grief. He was unmercifully beaten and tortured and scourged, then had a thorn bush smashed down on top of his head with clubs, and then about 9 a.m. was nailed to a cross. While he's suffering and dying He's being ridiculed. He is rejected and despised. He dies. His side is pierced with a spear. He's taken down, smeared with aloes and wrapped in a burial shroud, and then, just before nightfall, his blood soaked mangled corpse is hastily placed inside a tomb that was then, sealed and guarded. GAME OVER insert 25 cents.
Hold the phone....
Three days later...
After three Sabbaths in a row, just before sunrise a bunch of girls show up to the tomb to smear some more aloe on the dead dude, except He ain't there no more. One of the chicks runs and tells the gang that the tomb is empty. WHAT??? So a couple of the Apostle dudes decide to have an impromptu race to the tomb and indeed find it empty and unguarded. And inside they saw the blood soaked burial shroud lying on the ground. So later that day the gang was hanging out, and the dude that was dead but now is alive decides to pay um a visit. And they're like "what the....." but after awhile they settle into the fact that, He really IS the coolest dude ever. Now one of the guys wasn't there at the time and that was Tom, and when Tom came home the gang was like, "Guess who stopped by for lunch?" And he's like, "get the....." and the dudes were like, "for real bro," but Tom's like, "If I touch my finger in His wounds I'll believe you." So guess who stops by for lunch the next day? Tom winds up doing a face plant and declares Him to be "his Lord and his God!" And after hanging out with the gang for about a month or so, He instructs the guys one last time and tells them to preach the good news of the Kingdom that is on it's way, and teach people everything that He taught them. That last part is important, Matthew 28:20 "...teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you." Red Letters! "Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you." And then he is gone. And He ain't coming back until the end of time. And the Apostles are tasked with their assignment.
End of story. He picked 12 dudes to represent Him and teach exactly what He taught. And The Elect will hear His teaching. His sheep will hear His voice. The story has a perfect beginning, a perfect middle and a perfect ending. And you can not add to it, or subtract from it. It is perfect.
Jacob & The 12 Tribes
The first time I read the book of Acts I remember being frustrated because the flow of the story took a sharp turn. Sharp, because it was glaringly noticeable. It stopped being about The Lords representatives and completely switched gears. The story of 12 dudes flipped over to one dude named Saul and the concept of church. So the gang is hanging out at the place where they were the day before The Lord got arrested. And it's The Feast of Weeks and there's 100+ more people hanging out with them at the infamous upper room. The Spirit of The Most High shows up and this supposedly is the beginning of (the church). Slam on the breaks!! This is Not the beginning of the church! There is no such thing as church! This is the beginning of The Elect being awakened. All of the lost tribes of Jacob have been awakened one by one ever since. The tribes are mixed in with all the nations, both geographically and genetically. The promise was made to Abraham long ago that he would be a father of many nations. His gene has spread like a wild fire all over the inhabited earth. If you think The Most High God (My God) The Creator of Heaven and Earth Yahovah sanctions the false religion of christianity you are deceived. We have been beguiled. An insidious trick of misdirection to fool The Elect. The tribes got the boot from The Holy Land, and were scattered throughout all the nations of the earth. These are the lost tribes of Jacob. And a small number of these are The Elect.
And only a few ever find the narrow gate. Here is a clue: It is NOT the massive crowds of people going to church worldwide every Sunday!!!
~He's so Popular~
I once had a friend who packed his bags and got on a Gray Hound bus to move to Arizona. Along the way, the bus pulled into a rest stop as they periodically do. He stopped to get a bite to eat and tarried too long, and when he emerged from the restaurant the bus had just pulled away, leaving him stranded. All he could do was watch the bus drive away with all his luggage. That is a nightmare scenario.
Now suppose for a minute that there would have been someone to alert him that he'd better, Hustle up, the bus driver will be here soon. AND suppose the alert was stated thus: "The bus is about to leave, so you need to change your mind about eating, and wait for the bus driver with me. We don't know exactly when he is going to get back on, but we know that it is soon. And when he comes back he's driving away. Get some take-out and let's roll!
The person alerting about the danger is bringing good news. He received good news that the bus was leaving and there was still time to get out and wait for the bus driver. If you act now you still have time. That is (The Gospel). It literally means Good News, and should be translated in English as such. Furthermore, false "gospels" have been around since the first century when, and where all these things took place.
The Lord had a central message , and it was The Good News of the Kingdom. "Repent, for The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand." And The Kingdom starts in Judea. The Lords listeners would have known that. It was the King Himself announcing His own Kingdom. And He taught the 12 to announce The Kingdom just like He did. The repent part is simple. Get back to keeping the commandments like you should have been doing already, and then get washed clean by taking a dunk in the river to show that you mean it. Now go and break the Law no more. You don't want to miss the bus.
In plain sight, in the Bible, there are two separate and distinct gospels. There is The Good News of the Kingdom and then there's Apostle 13
Enter Saul of Tarsus
Apostle 13
AND
The Gospel of Lawlessness
There are many false gospels. They are not the gospel of the Kingdom as taught by The King Himself. There is however one false gospel that deserves your full attention you Elect one. They (who ever they may be) say, "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist." Yeah, that's a good one, but he had to pull that one off in order to trick the world that God doesn't exist either. Here's a better one...convincing the world that there was a 13th Apostle. Enter Saul of Tarsus. Agent 007. Pharisee of the tribe of Benjamin. Apostle 13. The Law and The Prophets proclaim every word of the Most High. Yahovah is His Name. Pronounce it how you like, I myself have a speech impediment. And He made a deal with man long ago. I created Heaven and Earth so keep these words of mine (THE LAW) and I've got your back. According to the records, man did a piss poor job of keeping the simplest of instructions and preferred to do the exact opposite. Even though keeping the commands and the holidays and sabbaths of our Creator is the most joy the world could ever possibly know. I absolutely love it personally. "His yoke is light, and His burden is easy, the bread is good and the butter is greazy." Your faith is manifested by keeping the words of Yahovah and His One and Only Son Joshua Carpenter. It IS the manifestation of your faith.
Faith without works is dead. Faith without works is dead.
After completely destroying the powers of darkness by sacrificing His only Son and bringing Him back to life. He brings Him back up to heaven to sit down at His right hand until the day when He will be sent back at the end of time to set up His Kingdom on earth. BOOM!!!
Wait!!! Did The Almighty Change His Mind?
"Son."
"Yes Father."
"I need you to go down to the earth and blind somebody for me."
"Wait....What?"
"Yeah....I'm going to add a 13th Apostle."
"But I thought....."
"Saul of Tarsus will be the greatest apostle of all. And remember his good pal Luke, well he is going to write a book about um."
"This doesn't seem right, Dad"
"And he'll call it (Acts of The Apostle)."
"So...what about the dudes I spent three years teaching?"
All right, all right, he will call it (Acts of The Apostle, and those other guys)."
"What?
"OK, OK....(Acts of The Apostles). But once he gets to chapter 13.....it's all about Saul..capiche?"
"OMG...."
It seems to me church doesn't teach The Way, unless you consider Saul of Tarsus the way. They teach Tarsus-ism, and if you go to "service" every week you are a Tarsusist. Can you see how ridiculous the very idea of a 13th apostle really is? Sure you can! There is a boat load of info about Saul being a false apostle out there. I ain't the first guy to notice. That is as far as I want to go for now. There are many verses from Saul that contradict The Lord directly if you're willing to look into it. It isn't my job to teach you how to swim, but I will kick you in the pool if you're standing too close. And wow man, where did you get those lame swim trunks?
to be continued....
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick! Who can understand it? I Yahovah, I am the one searching the heart and I am the one testing the inner man. Even to give to each man according to his ways. According to the fruit of his deeds."
Jeremiah 17: 9 -10
Terrifying
The will of God is for you to keep His Commands. They are your Deeds to do. You have free will, so you can choose not to if you so desire. Have at it. A carpenter has the right to use a chair he made, that's been broken, for firewood. We are the offspring of a man created in the creators own image. Except we're broken. And we are in need of a repair job. A carpenter has the right to take a broken chair, take it apart and make a new and better chair. The Carpenters Son Paid for the repairs. Keeping the commandments is the fix. Your faith is manifested by keeping the words of Yahovah and His One and Only Son Joshua Carpenter.
Hustle up, the bus driver will be here soon.
And now, it has all been heard. And here, is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear Yahovah, and keep His words. For this is the duty of every man.
Ecclesiastes 12:13
HAIL TO THE KING
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