OR

THE TRUE STORY OF

The Religion of Churchianity 

the abridged version

Pick a jesus! Any jesus! There are currently about 50,000 of them. Google it. That is the approximate number of denominations. And for every denomination there are a boat load of churches that represent them blanketing the flat earth. (just kidding, the earth is actually rather lumpy) That's roughly 4 million individual christian congregations. Damn Sam....does that seem right to you? Two would be one too many. Well, around the year 315 we're told that a tubby bunch O' bishops got together and started (The Catholic Church), so that we would have something to do on Sunday, (because football hadn't quite caught on just yet), and all these bishop dudes needed to justify their existence.    So...yeah.  AND....they sucked at football.

Fast forward to the year 1054 and we have the Great Schism, where the teams separated and became two distinct East and West Leagues.

In the West ya got your original Catholics, and then you have your Eastern Orthodox League who think that the Catholics are a bunch of big stupid jerks!!!       I am inclined to agree.....

GO Orthodoxens!!!!!

Move the ball down the field a few more yards to the year 1517 and the next thing you know, Free Martin Luthifer starts an entirely new league called The Protestants. And these dudes don't give a rats ass about either one of the East and West Leagues. At all son....

GO Luthiferens !!!!!

  So then The Protestants began to split up into countless other leagues like a bunch of rabbits. For instance, a little bit later in the like the 1640's or 50's or whatever, the comedy team of Calvin and Knox started the Presbyterian League which still play to this very day....                                                                                     

GO Presbyters!!!!!

After that it was the Methodist League. And then the Baptist League and then the Episcopalian League and then she told two friends and she told two fiends and she told two friends multiplied by 007 and then on this very day in the year of our Ford 2026 you have.....

50,000 Leagues under The See

  The Holy See. And The Holy See IS The Universal Government of The Catholic Church  

See?

That's not a religion, that's a franchise! Kinda like a (Jesus Burger)....there's one on every block!

"Yes, I'll have The Double Bacon McJesus with Cheese... annnnd a Coke."

"Would you like fries with that Sir?"

"Yeah...sure."

"OK....that comes to 10% of your wages, please pull up to the sanctuary."

TOUCHDOWN!!!

GO CATHOLICS !!!!!

~The-Champions-of The World~

If you don't believe in Jesus...you're playing for the wrong team!

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one gets to The Father but through me." 

-Joshua Carpenter-